Dracula and his spooky cookie

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piper936 jams
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07/13/2015
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Will Dracula get the boot from Elvira? Will Dracula get his divorce and eat his spooky cookie too? And will Dracula take over all the bookstores and coffee shops in Transylvania with Hazel?

Starring Voice Talents:

Dracula: The multi-talented Girard as Dracula.
Elvira: Piper
Hazel: Piper

Script:

-----------------------------


D: GOOD MORNING ELVIRA.

E: GOOD MORNING, HUH?
...WHAT ARE YOU UP TO NOW?!

D:I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU THIS MORNING.

E: OH REALLY? YOU DON'T SAY!

D: HERE IN MY HANDS, I HAVE THE DIVORCE PAPERS FOR ...
Tagged as / Sounds like:
electronic, comedy, Piper, Girard, Dracula, organ

Comments

KellsBells
A spooky muffin sounds good right about now. ;) HAHA Very entertaining, you two. :)+1
piper
Sorry lost the rest of the script LOL
-----------------------------


D: GOOD MORNING ELVIRA.

E: GOOD MORNING, HUH?
...WHAT ARE YOU UP TO NOW?!

D:I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU THIS MORNING.

E: OH REALLY? YOU DON'T SAY!

D: HERE IN MY HANDS, I HAVE THE DIVORCE PAPERS FOR YOU.
D: I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU, WE ARE THROUGH, ELVIRA.

E: THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!

D: INSTEAD OF YOU, I HAVE ENLISTED THE HELP OF YOUR

SISTER, WITCH HAZEL.

E: THAT TRAMP??!


D: WITCH HAZEL IS ON HER WAY! IT DOES NOT MATTER TO ME

WHAT YOU THINK OR WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT WITCH HAZEL PROVIDING

ME WITH ASSISTANCE!

E: YOU'RE RIGHT, I DON'T REALLY CARE.

D: YOU....UH......OH...........ELVIRA!

E: YES?

D: WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?

E: WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU LOST YOUR MEMORY AGAIN?

D:THERE GOES MY MEMORY AGAIN

E: WHAT IS THERE AN ECHO IN HERE?

D: I DO NOT HAVE A GOOD MEMORY

E: NO KIDDING. YOU JUST FIGURED THAT OUT?

D: I CANNOT REMEMBER HOW TO DO ROLLING Rs.

E: YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!

E: IT'S YOUR TURN TO GO FEED THE WOLVES. I DID IT LAST

NIGHT.

(DOOR OPENS AND WITCH HAZEL ARRIVES)

D: WITCH HAZEL! THANK YOU FOR COMING!

W: OH, THE PLEASURE IS MINE, DRACCY BABY.

D: THANK YOU! NOW PLEASE, IF YOU WOULD BE A DEAR, HOLD

THIS DEVICE.

W: I'D LOVE TO.

E: YOU TAKE YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF HIS DEVICE!

D: I NEED TO CHECK THE WIRING

W: I'LL CHECK IT FOR YOU, DRACCY BABY.

D: IF THE WIRING WORKS...

W: OH, IT'LL WORK.

E: YEAH RIGHT! IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS!

D: ...IF THE WIRING WORKS,......

E: IF THE WIRING WORKS! IF THE WIRING WORKS! YOU NEED TO

CHANGE YOUR BATTERY!

D: ...THEN I MAY BE TO BE TO TAKEOVER THE BOOKSTORE!

E: UCHHH!!! THE BOOKSTORE? THIS IS THE STUPIDEST IDEA

YOU'VE HAD SO FAR!

D: THE BOOKSTORE SHOULD ONLY BE FOR THE SPOOKY PEOPLE.

THE HAPPY PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO READ BOOKS ABOUT

THEIR HAPPY THINGS. THEY SHOULD ONLY BE PERMITTED TO BE A

SPOOKY READER.

W: OHH, I LIKE THAT IDEA, DRACCY BABY.

D: SPOOKY READERS BECOME SPOOKY.

E: WHAT THE HECK HAVE YOU TWO BEEN SMOKING LATELY? THAT'S

RIDICULOUS!

D: IF I CAN TO TAKEOVER THE BOOKSTORE, ALL THE SPOOKY

MATERIALS, AND THE SPOOKY BOOKMARKS, AND THE SPOOKY COFFEE

SHOP WILL BE MINE.

E: A COFFEE SHOP! ha! THAT'S FUNNY THAT'S REALLY FUNNY,

YOU DON'T EVEN GET UP IN THE MORNING.

D: AND THEY HAVE SPOOKY ESPRESSO, WITH A SPOOKY COOKIE,

AND THE SPOOKY MUFFINS...

E: SPOOKY MUFFINS? ohh PLEASE!

D: ...AND I WILL NOT DO IT WITH ELVIRA, I WILL DO IT WITH

WITCH HAZEL.

W: OH DRACCY BABY!

D: ...BECAUSE ELVIRA IS AN INGRATEFUL, VERY INGRATEFUL

LITTLE....

E: WAIT A MINUTE! DON'T YOU DARE! I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO

CLEANUP YOUR TOENAIL LITTER; SHAVE YOUR FANGS DOWN! THAT

LITTLE TRAMP OVER THERE, SHE DOESN'T DO A THING.

D: UHHHHH.....

E: YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, uhhhHHHHH!!! I DON'T THINK SO! I

HAD TO WORK AND SLAVE LIKE A GHOUL ALL THESE YEARS, AND

YOU'RE GONNA RUN OFF WITH THAT SHE TRAMP?

D: YEHHH UUHHHG

A: STAY TUNED FOR OUR NEXT EPISODE! WILL DRACULA MOVE IN

WITH WITCH HAZEL AND GET RID OF ELVIRA? STAY TUNED....
+0
Tofzegrit
You have found your King
Madness & creativity !
+1
July 14 2015 19:37:45
Tofzegrit
piper LOL, ;) +0
mpointon
Utterly brilliant and mad. Yeah, I've downloaded it...+2
July 14 2015 16:19:44
mpointon
Girard Gonna add on? +1
OliVBee
toe nails roflmao :) this is still crazy !! love it !+1
July 14 2015 16:15:55
OliVBee
Girard Lol first time I ever saw you say that! Awesome.. +0
Girard
HERE IS THE TRANSCRIPT:

-----------------------------


D: GOOD MORNING ELVIRA.

E: GOOD MORNING, HUH?
...WHAT ARE YOU UP TO NOW?!

D:I HAVE SOME BAD NEWS FOR YOU THIS MORNING.

E: OH REALLY? YOU DON'T SAY!

D: HERE IN MY HANDS, I HAVE THE DIVORCE PAPERS FOR YOU.
D: I HAVE HAD IT WITH YOU, WE ARE THROUGH, ELVIRA.

E: THAT'S WHAT YOU THINK!

D: INSTEAD OF YOU, I HAVE ENLISTED THE HELP OF YOUR

SISTER, WITCH HAZEL.

E: THAT TRAMP??!


D: WITCH HAZEL IS ON HER WAY! IT DOES NOT MATTER TO ME

WHAT YOU THINK OR WHAT YOU SAY ABOUT WITCH HAZEL PROVIDING

ME WITH ASSISTANCE!

E: YOU'RE RIGHT, I DON'T REALLY CARE.

D: YOU....UH......OH...........ELVIRA!

E: YES?

D: WHAT WAS I TALKING ABOUT?

E: WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU LOST YOUR MEMORY AGAIN?

D:THERE GOES MY MEMORY AGAIN

E: WHAT IS THERE AN ECHO IN HERE?

D: I DO NOT HAVE A GOOD MEMORY

E: NO KIDDING. YOU JUST FIGURED THAT OUT?

D: I CANNOT REMEMBER HOW TO DO ROLLING Rs.

E: YOU CAN'T DO ANYTHING RIGHT!

E: IT'S YOUR TURN TO GO FEED THE WOLVES. I DID IT LAST

NIGHT.

(DOOR OPENS AND WITCH HAZEL ARRIVES)

D: WITCH HAZEL! THANK YOU FOR COMING!

W: OH, THE PLEASURE IS MINE, DRACCY BABY.

D: THANK YOU! NOW PLEASE, IF YOU WOULD BE A DEAR, HOLD

THIS DEVICE.

W: I'D LOVE TO.

E: YOU TAKE YOUR FILTHY HANDS OFF OF HIS DEVICE!

D: I NEED TO CHECK THE WIRING

W: I'LL CHECK IT FOR YOU, DRACCY BABY.

D: IF THE WIRING WORKS...

W: OH, IT'LL WORK.

E: YEAH RIGHT! IN YOUR WILDEST DREAMS!

D: ...IF THE WIRING WORKS,......

E: IF THE WIRING WORKS! IF THE WIRING WORKS! YOU NEED TO

CHANGE YOUR BATTERY!

D: ...THEN I MAY BE TO BE TO TAKEOVER THE BOOKSTORE!

E: UCHHH!!! THE BOOKSTORE? THIS IS THE STUPIDEST IDEA

YOU'VE HAD SO FAR!

D: THE BOOKSTORE SHOULD ONLY BE FOR THE SPOOKY PEOPLE.

THE HAPPY PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE ALLOWED TO READ BOOKS ABOUT

THEIR HAPPY THINGS. THEY SHOULD ONLY BE PERMITTED TO BE A

SPOOKY READER.

W: OHH, I LIKE THAT IDEA, DRACCY BABY.

D: SPOOKY READERS BECOME SPOOKY.

E: WHAT THE HECK HAVE YOU TWO BEEN SMOKING LATELY? THAT'S

RIDICULOUS!

D: IF I CAN TO TAKEOVER THE BOOKSTORE, ALL THE SPOOKY

MATERIALS, AND THE SPOOKY BOOKMARKS, AND THE SPOOKY COFFEE

SHOP WILL BE MINE.

E: A COFFEE SHOP! ha! THAT'S FUNNY THAT'S REALLY FUNNY,

YOU DON'T EVEN GET UP IN THE MORNING.

D: AND THEY HAVE SPOOKY ESPRESSO, WITH A SPOOKY COOKIE,

AND THE SPOOKY MUFFINS...

E: SPOOKY MUFFINS? ohh PLEASE!

D: ...AND I WILL NOT DO IT WITH ELVIRA, I WILL DO IT WITH

WITCH HAZEL.

W: OH DRACCY BABY!

D: ...BECAUSE ELVIRA IS AN INGRATEFUL, VERY INGRATEFUL

LITTLE....

E: WAIT A MINUTE! DON'T YOU DARE! I'M THE ONE WHO HAS TO

CLEANUP YOUR TOENAIL LITTER; SHAVE YOUR FANGS DOWN! THAT

LITTLE TRAMP OVER THERE, SHE DOESN'T DO A THING.

D: UHHHHH.....

E: YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT, uhhhHHHHH!!! I DON'T THINK SO! I

HAD TO WORK AND SLAVE LIKE A GHOUL ALL THESE YEARS, AND

YOU'RE GONNA RUN OFF WITH THAT SHE TRAMP?

D: YEHHH UUHHHG

A: STAY TUNED FOR OUR NEXT EPISODE! WILL DRACULA MOVE IN

WITH WITCH HAZEL AND GET RID OF ELVIRA? STAY TUNED....
+0
RobM
LOL - Are you guys off your meds again LOL
Too funny ... Love it !!!
+2
July 14 2015 16:13:54
RobM
Girard Lolol hilarious :) +1
July 14 2015 13:00:23
RobM
piper LOL, glad you enjoyed the show Rob;) +1
Psycho
LOL... this would make a great soap opera :) Device? HaHaaaa !! Has this been through the censors room yet ???+0
frankyguitar
Girard, my friend- could you write the lyrics (text) down?? I can better understand if I read the words. :-))+0
frankyguitar
you both are quit crazy and so funny!! Love it !!! A very nice radio show, great stuff from my spooky dream team !!!+2
July 13 2015 21:42:57
frankyguitar
piper Thank you Franky :) +1

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