Hi guys..

posted on #1
Posts: 90
Joined: Jan 5, 2014
Posting this here seems a bit over the top ( as if it matters so much.. ) but, after getting a msg from TG asking what the hell's up with me, thinking about my absence i felt some sort of explanation was in order, at least to those i follow/follow me, that we've interacted & befriended here since i joined wikiloops..

In a nutshell the slump i've been started about 7 years ago taking care of my Mum but these last 3 years this just got more involved & demanding (she was 84 & now she's 93 ) to the point my hours, my work, my income, my emotional stress, etc... rose to levels i was having real trouble dealing with.
Taking care of a wilful elder who doesn't really listen IS difficult. Having the feeling that no matter how much time & effort you pour into it, you're not providing the care needed anyway while your life IS unraveling at the edges, did grind big time into my mind.

My Mum being pragmatic & not wanting living in care for her, concluded going down this road was unsustainable for her, my sister & i & decided to go to a home, one we had looked at a few years back..

It's now been like a year she's been there, bit of a bumpy adaptation period but.. now she's made friends w/ some people she likes it, the place is impeccable, nice gardens she likes walking around, it's nearby for frequent visits AND she gets the care she NEEDS, 24/7 !!

As i've started sorting stuff through my own emotional turmoil, humongous red tape of bank accounts, utilities contracts, deeds, etc, etc AND etc.. were added to the equation
So, i did what i usually do - i withdraw ''from public contact'', grab the problem by the horns & go at it w/ a vengeance until either overcomes. I usually mange to do it & then i go into my hole, lick my wounds back to health - but the process takes time..

After reading TG's msg in hindsight yes, i could've come here every now & then drop a hello or so but... that's just not me, my mind was struggling to keep commitments i had assumed ( even the portuguese translation here, despite the work already done - not delivering on my word to a friend ? that was a source of real stress.. but a HUGE sense of relief as it meant one less front of struggle to deal with !! Plus the guilt of not delivering... )
On top of that i hate imposing my troubles on others or being the grey cloud overcasting & i like hanging out with people when i'm at my ''normal self'' whatever that means.

Those who've gotten to know me know how i comment on tunes i like or acknowledge/answer those who comment on mine & yes, i follow so many & not being the 2 word comment writer ( nothing against those who do, it's just the way i am.. ) it's hard not only to have the time to do it the way i deem people deserve or worst, i can't ''fake it'' as if being in the spirit if my heart & soul are elsewhere.

Anyway... started renovating our house a few months ago, and recently yet another bike accident - this time i tore off my foot from it's ankle socket, right foot pointing forward, the left turned back 120 degrees... totally stupid thing, doing 60 km/h. No matter how skilled a rider you are, oil & water gets bikes every time...

That was a month ago, i still have a cast for another month & then.. 2 or 3 months of physio.
Am i stopping to ride bikes !? Not really no, living without doing the things you love is only.. existing ? As my Grand Dad used to say ''..sorry but plenty of time to rest when i'm 6 feet under..''

THANK GOODNESS, i got to know 3 incredible musicians living nearby i didn't know of, we met at a jam a cousin of mine forced me to attend to get me out of ''my hole'', we clicked & have been jamming/rehearsing 3 times a week, 6 hours each time & this has been immensely therapeutic : as wonderful as this community is nothing replaces playing live with others as we all know, & fact is i've been ACHING for years to find people we could actually gel together.
Each & every time we've played has been a cleanse of the soul ! And they like my idiosyncrasies..............

Stuff is shaping up, work is starting to come back in to almost normal levels of income - big renovation project for a client coming up after mine's done & by December i should be finally out of the tunnel of chaos & mayhem this period has been & into the light.

I've recorded a few ( very few for my usual.. ) which i'll start posting again at a slow pace.

I apologize for not showing up or saying anything, NOTHING against anyone pr anything, just my awkward way as i said, i hope i didn't offend anyone as that was absolutely not my intention !

Well.. i guess enough wasting your time
All the best to everyone & see you sooner rather than later


P.S.: Unfortunately i can't go to Steinfeld this year, traveling expenses & difficulty doing it in a cast just precludes that. I envy those who go... but wish you all have FUN ! You rotten lot... ;)
posted on #2
TeeGee Supporter
Posts: 1603
Joined: Sep 27, 2014
We still love you after all that you've done to us ;)

Get well, and come back soon buddy
posted on #3
axenvocs Supporter
Posts: 186
Joined: Oct 18, 2014
good to hear things are coming back around ,and good to hear from you
posted on #4
OliVBee Supporter
Posts: 758
Joined: Jan 7, 2013
wish you all the best buddy ! get well real soon and so cool to hear you ventured into more live playing :)
posted on #5
Posts: 90
Joined: Jan 5, 2014
TeeGee wrote:
We still love you after all that you've done to us ;)

Get well, and come back soon buddy

Cool to know TG, for a moment i feared i'd be left without ice cream for desert... ;)
posted on #6
Posts: 90
Joined: Jan 5, 2014
OliVBee wrote:
wish you all the best buddy ! get well real soon and so cool to hear you ventured into more live playing :)

Thanks OliVBee,100% focused on that &... the playing has been a real blast !! ;)
posted on #9
Shi Supporter
Posts: 350
Joined: Feb 3, 2013
so glad to see you back Nunoooooo :) hope that road to recovery is a short one ! :) Best wishes, Shi :)
posted on #10
Dick Supporter
Posts: 2735
Joined: Dec 30, 2010
Hey Nuno,
I'll miss you in Steinfeld this year, my dear friend.
I can relate to your way of dealing with things,
and I'm happy to read you're hanging in there and things are getting better. Also glad to hear you've found some folks to jam :)

@GemmyF - i took it from Nunos reaction that you and him seem to have some sort of special communications going. After giving this a little thought and knowing that the two of you had your fun, I decided to remove your post from this thread because it might have caused the wrong impression that one can get away with calling people names on the WL forum.
posted on #11
Fivestringer Supporter
Posts: 62
Joined: Jul 4, 2014
Well that's getting back on your feet in more than one way. I hope you get things sorted out and a good recovery on your foot too, get well! Also nice to hear that you've found some people to play with! Wikiloops does come close but nothing beats real time playing with friends, sorry Dick ;) So of course we'll miss you this year at Steinfeld, but somehow I feel... we'll meet again, don't know where, don't know when ;)
posted on #12
Posts: 284
Joined: Apr 8, 2014
Hey buddy.... you need more than coffee! But at least you’ve reconnected, and will hopefully get back on board soon. Like to says, we all still love you ...
Take care. Xxx your freind ...kimbo.
posted on #13
Posts: 128
Joined: May 1, 2013
Hi Nuno, nice to see you again here, happy that you find musicians to play with regularly and take care of you. Happy also to learn that things are coming in a right way.
posted on #14
Posts: 34
Joined: Sep 22, 2013
Nuno was one of the first to welcome me to WL. You have my support at all times, my friend. <3
posted on #15
Posts: 90
Joined: Jan 5, 2014
Oh my goodness, so many responses !! The stress, the pressure... you guys are killing me !!..LOL...
Thanks guys, stuff IS getting sorted & it feels good ! ;)

Hey Shi ! Thanks a lot, i'm all aiming at that..Best wishes to you too !!

Richard : sorry about that, Gemmy & i do use these ''terms of endearment'' that mean the exact opposite & definitely come across as insults if you're not onto it - it's good fun but i see your point.
Steinfeld, you & the rest of the gang hasn't seen the last of me though.. ;)

5strgr - Thanks buddy & yes, we'll definitely meet again, sooner rather than later !

Kimbo - Thanks for the nice words, good to know we're loved, even though there's no reason why sane people should really...LOL... All the best to you too, i'll miss not meeting up with you guys in Steinfeld !!

Many thanks Sophie, much appreciated & yes, i'm almost there.. ;)

Gioganotti - many thanks buddy, good to hear from you !! Cool bass you have there, i used to have one.. ;)
posted on #16
adu Supporter
Posts: 256
Joined: Feb 1, 2014
Hey ol friend. Head high and 4 Stings loud. Glad you are here. ;)
posted on #17
Caroljoyce Supporter
Posts: 17
Joined: Jul 23, 2016
Hello Nuno,
you don't know me, but I know your peculiar sound and playing. Hope you'll upload tracks from time to time while keeping time for yourself so that you quickly recover and play with your friends in Portugal.
Have a nice day.
posted on #18
Posts: 63
Joined: Feb 26, 2014
Hey Nuno, we'll miss you at the meeting. Glad you found music partners, live is life, and be careful with your motobike, uh ?
A big hug for you ;)
posted on #19
bhunt1 Supporter
Posts: 77
Joined: Mar 22, 2014
Hey Nuno glad ur back! Great to hear from you and hope you have a speedy recovery. Looking forward to some new jams from you - u got a unique style :)
posted on #20
mpointon Supporter
Posts: 504
Joined: Feb 27, 2015
Hey Nuno! I totally get where you're coming from - I'm just as guilty of coming and going from this place! And acutely aware of the frustrations not being able to contribute does to you!

Family situations are what they are and they have to take priority. Caring for elderly parents is hard, especially when there's little else support available/affordable beyond the family. It's doubly so when they're being cantankerous about it! My mother is heading in the same direction at the moment and myself and my brother are trying to work out what to do.

As for its impact on your personal health... You have to take care of yourself first and foremost and you must do that in whatever way you see fit. Whatever demands are placed on you, you're no good to anyone as a stressed out wreck but, of course, impressing that on others is another matter. Stress is much harder on your body and mind than many would believe. If that stress gets to depression then coping, etc., starts really coming apart. You must distance yourself from any situations, no matter how trivial they seem, that may add to your problems.

Withdrawing as a coping mechanism is a perfectly acceptable way to do it. I've done that several times myself, lastly when I extricated myself from social media around 4 years ago. In my case, social media was part of the stress, hence I've never returned. The 'Loops is the closest I get to 'social media' these days. In our always-on society, I think it's harder to appreciate why people might 'disappear' and also, those who try to contact you may not understand why you do not answer.

Welcome back but do not pressure yourself to do anything you're not ready to do. Recover in your own time - the Loops will still be here.

Good luck!
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