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The Ol' Election Stealer

The Ol' Election Stealer

Lyric #2586 by bassMonkey

Tags: Country, Satire, Politics, Hats off to Neil Innes
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posted on #1
Posts: 382
Joined: Dec 2, 2020
I'm the ol' election stealer and I ride from state to state,
I'm the one that all those folks on social media love to hate,
My saddlebags are stuffed with votes, I never get exposed,
I'll be casting them for corpses after all the polls have closed.

They know me down in Georgia and in Arizona too,
My fame extends from coast to coast wherever I pass through,
If you need elections fixin' I'm the gun you need to hire,
And you'll be celebratin' when it comes down to the wire.


I roam the range lassooing votes of every shape and size,
I round them up so easily you won't believe your eyes,
Postal ones are best 'cause they're so simple to defraud,
I'll put a thousand in for me for every one of yours.


When I'm not in the saddle I'll be sat at my PC,
Writing ballot-counting software that will only work for me,
You'll go to bed on Tuesday night convinced that you're ahead,
Then wake up Wednesday morning when you'll wish that you were dead.


I'm the ol' election stealer try to catch me if you can,
At least you'll know that you were beaten by the better man,
You'll never find the proof but then my story has a twist,
Just like the urban spaceman I dont actually exist.

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