Brian's Secret

Brian had an ABBA record hidden at his house,
I found it underneath his bed while searching for a mouse,
The mouse turned out to be a sock, his room is such a mess,
I swear to God I saw it moving - Ah, but I digress.

I laid the LP on my knees and held my head and groaned,
An ABBA record's something no straight man has ever owned,
Now Brian was my boyfriend and I'd planned to be his wife,
Could he be gay or have another woman in his life?

Brian's mum came in just then with cookies on a tray,
I wondered if I dared to ask her if her son was gay?
"Hello love," she said to me "Is Brian not with you?"
"No", I said "He's at the store, he'll be back in a few."

Brian's mum espied the record lying on the bed,
"Well look at that you found it - what a clever girl!" she said,
"Brian's sister lost that album several days ago,
She will be most delighted, I must go and let her know."

Brian came back from the store with Cherry Coke and chips,
I lept up from the bed and kissed him firmly on the lips,
"I promise you my darling boy forever to be true!",
He said "uh yeah, ok I guess, the same right back at you."

[Footnote]
Brian and Julie stayed together and have been married since
1984. Since then thay have raised two wonderful kids and a
series of extremely ugly, yet strangely loveable dogs.

They still laugh about the ABBA record and Julie even gave him
a CD copy on one of their earlier wedding anniversaries.
To this day though, Brian is thankful that Julie never looked under
duvet because had she done so she would probably have
discovered Melissa Dawson's bra - which, frankly, would
have been a lot harder to explain.