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Norwegians in a Jar

Lyric #2817 by bassMonkey

Tags: Silly, Nostalgic, Folky, Norwegian, But not Norwegian Folk, Unless you sang it Joik-style which I guess you could.
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posted on #1
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Way back in the seventies when we were still pre-teens,
We all loved reading comic books and kiddie magazines,
And on the pages near the back the small ads could be found,
Fake moustaches, X-Ray Spex and smoke bombs would abound,
There'd be buckets of toy soldiers but strangest thing by far,
Were packs of special seeds to grow Norwegians in a Jar.

I sent away a money order with an S.A.E,
Within two weeks (as promised) they had been sent back to me,
I washed and dried a pickle jar and filled it up with brine,
I put the seeds in carefully about ten at a time,
I sprinkled powdered Fårikål on top for them to eat,
And within a day or two they'd started sprouting feet.

They were the most amazing creatures I had ever seen,
And as I watched them grow it was the happiest I'd been,
But my father thought them creepy and on one unhappy day,
I found him by the toilet trying to flush them all away,
I grabbed the jar and tried to save as many as I could,
But the Nygårds, Ruuds and Kristensens were all now lost for good.

When their legs had fully formed their tails broke away,
I'd let them out inside my room where they could run and play,
But they were so inquisitive and wanted to explore,
They couldn't understand that danger lay beyond the door,
The cat caught Silje Pedersen, I found her by the shed,
I sorrowfully buried her in Mother's flower bed.

I built a Hytte out in the woods where they could safely live,
I felt their freedom was the greatest gift that I could give,
But I wasn't ready yet to bid them all good-bye,
I visited each evening watching from a hide nearby,
And as the sun went down they'd sing Joik gathered by the fire,
A sound more beautiful than that of any Angels' Choir.

When they were full grown I knew they wouldn't stay too long,
One day the call of the Fjord would simply be too strong,
So when they left I shed a tear but it's just Nature's way,
Although some times I feel that they're still with me to this day,
As when the North Wind blows I hear their singing from afar,
Yes, they were my Norwegians and I grew them in a Jar.
Edited by bassMonkey on October 29 2021 13:11
posted on #2
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bassMonkey wrote:
Way back in the seventies when we were still pre-teens,
We all loved reading comic books and kiddie magazines,
And on the pages near the back the small ads could be found,
Fake moustaches, X-Ray Spex and smoke bombs would abound,
There'd be buckets of toy soldiers but strangest thing by far,
Were packs of special seeds to grow Norwegians in a Jar.

I sent away a money order with an S.A.E,
Within two weeks (as promised) they had been sent back to me,
I washed and dried a pickle jar and filled it up with brine,
I put in the seeds in carefully about ten at a time,
I sprinkled powdered Fårikål on top for them to eat,
And within a day or two they'd started sprouting feet.

They were the most amazing creatures I had ever seen,
And as I watched them grow it was the happiest I'd been,
But my father found them creepy and on one unhappy day,
I caught him by the toilet trying to flush them all away,
I pulled the jar away and saved as many as I could,
But the Nygårds, Ruuds and Kristensens were all now lost for good.

When their legs had fully formed their tails broke away,
I'd let them out inside my room where they could safely play,
But they were so inquisitive and wanted to explore,
They couldn't understand that danger lay beyond the door,
The cat caught Silje Pedersen, I found her by the shed,
I sorrowfully buried her in Mother's flower bed.

I built a Hytte out in the woods where they could safely live,
I felt their freedom was the greatest gift that I could give,
But I wasn't ready yet to bid them all good-bye,
I visited each evening watching from a hide nearby,
And as the sun went down they'd sing Joik gathered by the fire,
A sound more beautiful than that of any Angels' Choir.

When they were full grown I knew they wouldn't stay too long,
One day the call of the Fjord would prove too strong,
So when they left I shed a tear but it's just Nature's way,
Though in some ways I feel that they're still with me to this day,
As when the North Wind blows I hear their singing from afar,
Yes, they were my Norwegians and I grew them in a Jar.


LOL!! That's great man!! :D
posted on #3
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Thanks Ernie :)
posted on #4
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Lol that is so good!! I remember when I was a kid in the 70ies in the small adds of magazines they used to advertise something similar. I can't remember what it was, but it said something like growing creatures in a jar. I was so intrigued by it, but obviously never ordered it. Even as a kid I suspected it being a scam, but... those adverts were always next to the x-ray glasses they advertised... oh happy days!
posted on #5
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So did you actually grow them??
posted on #6
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No :( I never did but I knew people who tried and faced disappointment. They were often billed as "Sea Monkeys" or somesuch and illustrated within truly magical kingdoms (with crowns, tridents etc).

Anyway - most of that stuff was a con but we still bought it (and forget that when we tell our kids to be careful with money..) One of the worst though was the "Throw your voice!!" gizmo. Yeah, right.
Edited by bassMonkey on October 28 2021 17:04
posted on #7
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Man, this thread makes me so happy remembering these things. I was a compulsive comic book reader, spend all my money on them :D . I found this blog that deal with all those ads :D :D :D
https://www.mentalfloss.com/article/30420/11-shameless-comic-book-ads-cost-us-our-allowance-money
posted on #8
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LOL 🤣- thanks for sharing! I am still laughing about the cardboard submarine.
posted on #9
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I did get one of these when I was about 14 as I was constantly going on about it :D Tell you what, I guess if I had one I'd use it today :D

https://www.advertisingarchives.co.uk/detail/13311/1/Magazine-Advert/Bullworker/1970s


[img]https://www.advertisingarchives.co.uk/preview/13311/1/Magazine-Advert/Bullworker/1970s.jpg[/img]
Edited by TeeGee on October 28 2021 17:25
posted on #10
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I remember those - and also the "Charles Atlas" program that would stop you getting sand kicked in your face!

My friend's older sister's boyfriend had a bull worker and we had a go... stopped the first time we did a leg exercise, the band under the foot slipped and the metal bit nearly took my teeth out.

Mind you something to strengthen my left hand and stop me anchoring G & A scales on the bass E string with my thumb might help get fewer disapproving looks...
posted on #11
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Or how about a "surprise package"? Just send us 50c (a FORTUNE back in the day) and we'll send you ...er... something.
bassMonkey attached the following image:



Edited by bassMonkey on October 30 2021 12:12
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