Bar Humbug

Lyric #2843 by bassMonkey

Tags: Drinking, Fun, Seasonal
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posted on #1
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Joined: 02.12.20
Around this time of year you'll find me propping up the bar,
Down at the greatest little joint on God's green Earth,
There's a total ban on tinsel and on tackyness in general,
And the beer is always cold for what it's worth.

It's set amongst the palm trees on mile of golden sand,
And there's no snow because the sun shines all day long,
The bar is called the "Humbug" and the music's always slammin',
'Cause you'll never hear a single Christmas song.

[chorus]
Come and join us at the Bar Humbug for cocktails,
Just pull up a stool and find a friend,
We'll share a tale or two and drink 'till 2022,
Or at least until this month of madness ends.

Out there on the beach Ol' Mr Scrooge is barbequeing,
Cooking food that normal people like to eat,
And the Grinch is mixing drinks from booze instead of cream and eggs,
Boy, his Fish House Punch* will knock you off your feet.

Here no-one ever tries to give you junk you'll never want,
And they don't want you to do the same for them,
Just buy a drink for someone - who cares if you get one back?
And if you're not grinning you won't get condemned.

[chorus]

A Krampus on the door keeps all the carol singers out,
It's the only way to keep the party in,
Jack Skellington's the house DJ - his tunes are always banging,
Because nothing by Bing Crosby gets a spin.

So when you're sick of paper hats and sweaters that light up,
Or if those Christmas Nuts are driving you beserk,
Just make your way down to our bar and order something strong,
We can show how to make this season work.

[chorus]



* Fish House Punch is made from:

1 cup (240 ml) sugar
3½ cups (830 ml) water
1½ cups (350 ml) fresh lemon juice (6 to 8 lemons), strained
1 (750-ml) bottle Jamaican amber rum
12 US fl oz (350 ml) cognac
2 US fl oz (60 ml) peach brandy
Garnish: lemon slices[7]

It was reportedly invented at the Philadelphia fishing club in 1732. Legend has it that George Washington indulged in 13 toasts (one for each of the newly independent states) and after the Fish House Punch he was unable to make a diary entry for three days.**

** I got to get me some of that!
Edited by bassMonkey on December 13 2021 18:22
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