Thruple

Married Stacey in Las Vegas,
And then Su in New Orleans,
They married each other in San Fran,
So I guess what that all means...
Is we're a thruple,
Just a modern family,
And we're living out our best lives,
Stacey, Su and Mister me.

We raised up three great children,
An amazing bumpy ride,
One of them's gay and one of them's straight,
And the other one can't decide,
But that's alright now,
We're always here for what they need,
Be that love and understanding,
Or the cash to buy some weed.

Now the straight one's got a boyfriend,
And the gay one has one too,
The other one's had a few of those,
Plus several girlfriends too,
And that's alright now,
We know they will find their way,
They are the best kids in the world,
And we love them more each day.

We live down in Orange County,
In a five bed three bath house,
Right up the street from Donald Duck,
Next door to Mickey Mouse,
And that's alright now,
We're all pretty cool with that,
We've a Labrador called 'Elvis',
And a long-haired Siamese cat.

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[notes]
Despite what people may think about Utah, bigamy is a criminal
offense in all 50 states. However, individual state laws determine
whether the offense is considered a felony or a misdemeanor.

So this is not necessarily a lyric about that. Like most things,
the simple "sniff" test is to see whether you could make it into
a wholesome family-friendly sit-com of the kind that ABC would
commission.

The answer here is a resounding "yes" as long as none of the three
main adult characters are married to each other AT THE SAME TIME.

How might that work? Well let's imagine that the narrator (let's
call him Geoff) is a struggling musician working in Vegas where
he encounters Stacey. She is an executive and a rising star in the
tech business back in the Valley and she is on a "Team Building"
trip in Sin City (which she utterly hates).

She's ivy-league educated and from a very conservative family back east
- and she is a lesbian, a fact she has not yet shared with anybody
including her parents. She hits it off with Geoff who is so much more
"real" than the frat boys she meets at work or the string of stiff-as-board
"suitable husbands" that her family frequently try to foist on her.

After a whirlwind romance (and a lot of frozen margaritas) they decide to
tie the knot in the Elvis chapel... Regrets and recriminations follow
with Geoff devastated that what he believes is his "soul mate" thinks they
made a huge mistake. They break up and have a "quickie divorce" resolving
to remain friends. What Stacey neglects to tell him is that she is
pregnant.

Stacey has the child and struggles as a working single parent while a broken
hearted Geoff moves to NOLA. Here he secures a few gigs including a regular
slot with a Jazz singer named Su who is coming off the back of a number of
relationships with unreliable musicians. She sees how different Geoff is
and falls in love with him.

They marry, and a couple of years later have two young children although
being a stay-at-home mom begins to frustrate Su who yearns to get back to
her singing career.

A mutual friend of Geoff and Stacey dies and though unaware of the shared
connection, they both attend the funeral with Su as Geoff's plus one. Here,
Geoff discovers that he has a young child by Stacey and that she is now
proudly out of the closet and dating - but still single.

Stacey and Su fall head-over-heels in love and soon Geoff has to face up
to another divorce and the fact that his two ex-wives are moving back to
California and taking his three children with them.

The court grants Geoff access to all three children but the regular journey
from NOLA to their new home in Southern California is unsustainable and
he can't secure suitable accommodation in the area on the money he makes.

With Stacey and Su now married (in a lovely service up in San Francisco Bay
that Geoff attends) they live with the kids in a large house in OC. However,
they are struggling with the fact that Stacey still has a demanding job/commute
and it looks like Su's singing career is set to take off again.

They talk about getting child-care help and wonder if it would be a good idea
to try and find a man that does this to give the children a positive male role
model close to home. But where to find such a man that they both trust and
they can be sure will have the kids' best interests at heart?

Hilarious consequences ensue.

In the interests of diversity, I imagine that ABC would want to cast one of more
of the main characters as from a different ethnic background. Fine by me,
lets see how the auditions go.

Geoff and Su will write a song. It will sell millions.

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