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It Came from the Sea

Lyric #3023 by bassMonkey

Tags: Satire, Tourism
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posted on #1
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Posts: 193
Joined: 02.12.20
A privately-owned enterprise,
Your Water Company,
They take your poop away from you,
And pump it in the sea,
And if you go down to the coast,
You'll find it's pretty grim,
As it will all come back to you,
If you go for a swim.

They say they only do it though,
On really rainy days,
But they found it saves them money,
So they do it anyways,
There's tampons and there's baby wipes,
And toilet paper too,
There really is no limiting,
What they will pump at you.

Despite the charges that they make,
They say they're short of dough,
Their infrastructure's out of date,
But here's one thing I know,
They pay the chairman of their board,
Two million pounds a year,
Which means he never has to take,
A holiday round here.

So if you go paddle boarding,
In Sussex or in Kent,
Look at your feet and you'll see how,
Your water rates are spent,
Beach tourism is vital here,
But here's the irony,
Our trade is in the toilet,
While the poop is in the sea.
Edited by bassMonkey on September 01 2022 16:58
posted on #2
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Posts: 193
Joined: 02.12.20
[Notes]
A bit UK-centric I admit but the problem is found elsewhere.
Public health, not politics ;)

Apologies for the grossness of parts of this but there is nothing
herein that is not 100% true I'm sad to say. The water companies would
have it that the alternative is having it all come back into homes but
this is supposed to be an EMERGENCY measure and they've been caught doing
it in non-emergency situations many times.

Like everywhere else, businesses on the UK coast are trying to recover from the
pandemic closures and they really don't need this. And whatever the case,
people want to enjoy the beach without avoidable health hazards.

The good people of Kent have been protesting with placards containing long, well thought
out messages, clever puns and cute illustrations.

In Sussex we are a bit more direct...

[img]https://sussexbylines.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2021/08/IMG_0488.jpg[/img]
Edited by bassMonkey on September 01 2022 23:04
posted on #3
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Posts: 46
Joined: 31.08.22
Well put, bassMonkey, I've not been to the seaside lately but by all accounts that No.1 tourist attraction, Blackpool, (which had dirty seas anyway) is getting this really bad. Great photo!
posted on #4
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Posts: 3
Joined: 29.08.22
Brilliant lyrics, funny and sad at the same time.
posted on #5
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Posts: 3
Joined: 29.08.22
Ok, I felt like giving it a try in #251516 *ducks*
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